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Chapter XIV
Morning came with its cares and bustle. Everyone got up and began to move about and talk, dressmakers came again. Mรกrya Dmรญtrievna appeared, and they were called to breakfast.
Natรกsha kept looking uneasily at everybody with wide-open eyes, as if wishing to intercept every glance directed toward her, and tried to appear the same as usual.
After breakfast, which was her best time, Mรกrya Dmรญtrievna sat down in her armchair and called Natรกsha and the count to her.
โWell, friends, I have now thought the whole matter over and this is my advice,โ she began.
โYesterday, as you know, I went to see Prince Bolkรณnski. Well, I had a talk with him…. He took it into his head to begin shouting, but I am not one to be shouted down. I said what I had
to say!โ
โWell, and he?โ asked the count.
โHe? Heโs crazy… he did not want to listen. But whatโs the use of talking? As it is we have worn the poor girl out,โ said Mรกrya Dmรญtrievna. โMy advice to you is finish your business and go back home to Otrรกdnoe… and wait there.โ
โOh, no!โ exclaimed Natรกsha.
โYes, go back,โ said Mรกrya Dmรญtrievna, โand wait there. If your betrothed comes here nowโ there will be no avoiding a quarrel; but alone with the old man he will talk things over and then come on to you.โ
Count Rostรณv approved of this suggestion, appreciating its reasonableness. If the old man came round it would be all the better to visit him in Moscow or at Bald Hills later on; and if not, the wedding, against his wishes, could only be arranged at Otrรกdnoe.
โThat is perfectly true. And I am sorry I went to see him and took her,โ said the old count.
โNo, why be sorry? Being here, you had to pay your respects. But if he wonโtโthatโs his affair,โ said Mรกrya Dmรญtrievna, looking for something in her reticule. โBesides, the trousseau is ready, so there is nothing to wait for; and what is not ready Iโll send after you. Though I donโt like letting you go, it is the best way. So go, with Godโs blessing!โ
Having found what she was looking for in the reticule she handed it to Natรกsha. It was a letter from Princess Mary.
โShe has written to you. How she torments herself, poor thing! Sheโs afraid you might think that she does not like you.โ
โBut she doesnโt like me,โ said Natรกsha.
โDonโt talk nonsense!โ cried Mรกrya Dmรญtrievna.
โI shanโt believe anyone, I know she doesnโt like me,โ replied Natรกsha boldly as she took the letter, and her face expressed a cold and angry resolution that caused Mรกrya Dmรญtrievna to look at her more intently and to frown.
โDonโt answer like that, my good girl!โ she said. โWhat I say is true! Write an answer!โ
Natรกsha did not reply and went to her own room to read Princess Maryโs letter.
Princess Mary wrote that she was in despair at the misunderstanding that had occurred between them. Whatever her fatherโs feelings might be, she begged Natรกsha to believe that
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she could not help loving her as the one chosen by her brother, for whose happiness she was ready to sacrifice everything.
โDo not think, however,โ she wrote, โthat my father is ill-disposed toward you. He is an invalid and an old man who must be forgiven; but he is good and magnanimous and will love her who makes his son happy.โ Princess Mary went on to ask Natรกsha to fix a time when she could see her again.
After reading the letter Natรกsha sat down at the writing table to answer it. โDear Princess,โ she wrote in French quickly and mechanically, and then paused. What more could she write after all that had happened the evening before? โYes, yes! All that has happened, and now all is changed,โ she thought as she sat with the letter she had begun before her. โMust I break off with him? Must I really? Thatโs awful…โ and to escape from these dreadful thoughts she went to Sรณnya and began sorting patterns with her.
After dinner Natรกsha went to her room and again took up Princess Maryโs letter. โCan it be that it is all over?โ she thought. โCan it be that all this has happened so quickly and has destroyed all that went before?โ She recalled her love for Prince Andrew in all its former strength, and at the same time felt that she loved Kurรกgin. She vividly pictured herself as Prince Andrewโs wife, and the scenes of happiness with him she had so often repeated in her imagination, and at the same time, aglow with excitement, recalled every detail of yesterdayโs interview with Anatole.
โWhy could that not be as well?โ she sometimes asked herself in complete bewilderment.
โOnly so could I be completely happy; but now I have to choose, and I canโt be happy without either of them. Only,โ she thought, โto tell Prince Andrew what has happened or to hide it from him are both equally impossible. But with that one nothing is spoiled. But am I really to abandon forever the joy of Prince Andrewโs love, in which I have lived so long?โ
โPlease, Miss!โ whispered a maid entering the room with a mysterious air. โA man told me to give you thisโโ and she handed Natรกsha a letter.
โOnly, for Christโs sake…โ the girl went on, as Natรกsha, without thinking, mechanically broke the seal and read a love letter from Anatole, of which, without taking in a word, she understood only that it was a letter from himโfrom the man she loved. Yes, she loved him, or else how could that have happened which had happened? And how could she have a love letter from him in her hand?
With trembling hands Natรกsha held that passionate love letter which Dรณlokhov had composed for Anatole, and as she read it she found in it an echo of all that she herself imagined she was feeling.
โSince yesterday evening my fate has been sealed; to be loved by you or to die. There is no other way for me,โ the letter began. Then he went on to say that he knew her parents would not give her to himโfor this there were secret reasons he could reveal only to herโbut that if she loved him she need only say the word yes, and no human power could hinder their bliss.
Love would conquer all. He would steal her away and carry her off to the ends of the earth.
โYes, yes! I love him!โ thought Natรกsha, reading the letter for the twentieth time and finding some peculiarly deep meaning in each word of it.
That evening Mรกrya Dmรญtrievna was going to the Akhรกrovsโ and proposed to take the girls with her. Natรกsha, pleading a headache, remained at home.