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Chapter XI
Returning from his journey through South Russia in the happiest state of mind, Pierre carried out an intention he had long had of visiting his friend Bolkรณnski, whom he had not seen for two years.
Boguchรกrovo lay in a flat uninteresting part of the country among fields and forests of fir and birch, which were partly cut down. The house lay behind a newly dug pond filled with water to the brink and with banks still bare of grass. It was at the end of a village that stretched along the highroad in the midst of a young copse in which were a few fir trees.
The homestead consisted of a threshing floor, outhouses, stables, a bathhouse, a lodge, and a large brick house with semicircular faรงade still in course of construction. Round the house was a garden newly laid out. The fences and gates were new and solid; two fire pumps and a water cart, painted green, stood in a shed; the paths were straight, the bridges were strong and had handrails. Everything bore an impress of tidiness and good management. Some domestic serfs Pierre met, in reply to inquiries as to where the prince lived, pointed out a small newly built lodge close to the pond. Antรณn, a man who had looked after Prince Andrew in his boyhood, helped Pierre out of his carriage, said that the prince was at home, and showed him into a clean little anteroom.
Pierre was struck by the modesty of the small though clean house after the brilliant surroundings in which he had last met his friend in Petersburg.
He quickly entered the small reception room with its still-unplastered wooden walls redolent of pine, and would have gone farther, but Antรณn ran ahead on tiptoe and knocked at a door.
โWell, what is it?โ came a sharp, unpleasant voice.
โA visitor,โ answered Antรณn.
โAsk him to wait,โ and the sound was heard of a chair being pushed back.
Pierre went with rapid steps to the door and suddenly came face to face with Prince Andrew, who came out frowning and looking old. Pierre embraced him and lifting his spectacles kissed his friend on the cheek and looked at him closely.
โWell, I did not expect you, I am very glad,โ said Prince Andrew.
Pierre said nothing; he looked fixedly at his friend with surprise. He was struck by the change in him. His words were kindly and there was a smile on his lips and face, but his eyes were dull and lifeless and in spite of his evident wish to do so he could not give them a joyous and glad sparkle. Prince Andrew had grown thinner, paler, and more manly-looking, but what amazed and estranged Pierre till he got used to it were his inertia and a wrinkle on his brow indicating prolonged concentration on some one thought.
As is usually the case with people meeting after a prolonged separation, it was long before their conversation could settle on anything. They put questions and gave brief replies about things they knew ought to be talked over at length. At last the conversation gradually settled on some of the topics at first lightly touched on: their past life, plans for the future, Pierreโs journeys and occupations, the war, and so on. The preoccupation and despondency which Pierre had noticed in his friendโs look was now still more clearly expressed in the smile with which he listened to Pierre, especially when he spoke with joyful animation of the past or the future. It was as if Prince Andrew would have liked to sympathize with what Pierre was
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saying, but could not. The latter began to feel that it was in bad taste to speak of his enthusiasms, dreams, and hopes of happiness or goodness, in Prince Andrewโs presence. He was ashamed to express his new Masonic views, which had been particularly revived and strengthened by his late tour. He checked himself, fearing to seem naรฏve, yet he felt an irresistible desire to show his friend as soon as possible that he was now a quite different, and better, Pierre than he had been in Petersburg.
โI canโt tell you how much I have lived through since then. I hardly know myself again.โ
โYes, we have altered much, very much, since then,โ said Prince Andrew.
โWell, and you? What are your plans?โ
โPlans!โ repeated Prince Andrew ironically. โMy plans?โ he said, as if astonished at the word. โWell, you see, Iโm building. I mean to settle here altogether next year….โ
Pierre looked silently and searchingly into Prince Andrewโs face, which had grown much older.
โNo, I meant to ask…โ Pierre began, but Prince Andrew interrupted him.
โBut why talk of me?… Talk to me, yes, tell me about your travels and all you have been doing on your estates.โ
Pierre began describing what he had done on his estates, trying as far as possible to conceal his own part in the improvements that had been made. Prince Andrew several times prompted Pierreโs story of what he had been doing, as though it were all an old-time story, and he listened not only without interest but even as if ashamed of what Pierre was telling him.
Pierre felt uncomfortable and even depressed in his friendโs company and at last became silent.
โIโll tell you what, my dear fellow,โ said Prince Andrew, who evidently also felt depressed and constrained with his visitor, โI am only bivouacking here and have just come to look round. I am going back to my sister today. I will introduce you to her. But of course you know her already,โ he said, evidently trying to entertain a visitor with whom he now found nothing in common. โWe will go after dinner. And would you now like to look round my place?โ
They went out and walked about till dinnertime, talking of the political news and common acquaintances like people who do not know each other intimately. Prince Andrew spoke with some animation and interest only of the new homestead he was constructing and its buildings, but even here, while on the scaffolding, in the midst of a talk explaining the future arrangements of the house, he interrupted himself: โHowever, this is not at all interesting. Let us have dinner, and then weโll set off.โ
At dinner, conversation turned on Pierreโs marriage.
โI was very much surprised when I heard of it,โ said Prince Andrew.
Pierre blushed, as he always did when it was mentioned, and said hurriedly: โI will tell you some time how it all happened. But you know it is all over, and forever.โ
โForever?โ said Prince Andrew. โNothingโs forever.โ
โBut you know how it all ended, donโt you? You heard of the duel?โ
โAnd so you had to go through that too!โ
โOne thing I thank God for is that I did not kill that man,โ said Pierre.
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โWhy so?โ asked Prince Andrew. โTo kill a vicious dog is a very good thing really.โ
โNo, to kill a man is badโwrong.โ
โWhy is it wrong?โ urged Prince Andrew. โIt is not given to man to know what is right and what is wrong. Men always did and always will err, and in nothing more than in what they consider right and wrong.โ
โWhat does harm to another is wrong,โ said Pierre, feeling with pleasure that for the first time since his arrival Prince Andrew was roused, had begun to talk, and wanted to express what had brought him to his present state.
โAnd who has told you what is bad for another man?โ he asked.
โBad! Bad!โ exclaimed Pierre. โWe all know what is bad for ourselves.โ
โYes, we know that, but the harm I am conscious of in myself is something I cannot inflict on others,โ said Prince Andrew, growing more and more animated and evidently wishing to express his new outlook to Pierre. He spoke in French. โI only know two very real evils in life: remorse and illness. The only good is the absence of those evils. To live for myself avoiding those two evils is my whole philosophy now.โ
โAnd love of oneโs neighbor, and self-sacrifice?โ began Pierre. โNo, I canโt agree with you!
To live only so as not to do evil and not to have to repent is not enough. I lived like that, I lived for myself and ruined my life. And only now when I am living, or at least tryingโ (Pierreโs modesty made him correct himself) โto live for others, only now have I understood all the happiness of life. No, I shall not agree with you, and you do not really believe what you are saying.โ Prince Andrew looked silently at Pierre with an ironic smile.
โWhen you see my sister, Princess Mary, youโll get on with her,โ he said. โPerhaps you are right for yourself,โ he added after a short pause, โbut everyone lives in his own way. You lived for yourself and say you nearly ruined your life and only found happiness when you began living for others. I experienced just the reverse. I lived for glory.โAnd after all what is glory? The same love of others, a desire to do something for them, a desire for their approval.โSo I lived for others, and not almost, but quite, ruined my life. And I have become calmer since I began to live only for myself.โ
โBut what do you mean by living only for yourself?โ asked Pierre, growing excited. โWhat about your son, your sister, and your father?โ
โBut thatโs just the same as myselfโthey are not others,โ explained Prince Andrew. โThe others, oneโs neighbors, le prochain, as you and Princess Mary call it, are the chief source of all error and evil. Le prochainโyour Kiev peasants to whom you want to do good.โ
And he looked at Pierre with a mocking, challenging expression. He evidently wished to draw him on.
โYou are joking,โ replied Pierre, growing more and more excited. โWhat error or evil can there be in my wishing to do good, and even doing a littleโthough I did very little and did it very badly? What evil can there be in it if unfortunate people, our serfs, people like ourselves, were growing up and dying with no idea of God and truth beyond ceremonies and meaningless prayers and are now instructed in a comforting belief in future life, retribution, recompense, and consolation? What evil and error are there in it, if people were dying of disease without help while material assistance could so easily be rendered, and I supplied them with a doctor, a hospital, and an asylum for the aged? And is it not a palpable, unquestionable good if a peasant, or a woman with a baby, has no rest day or night and I give them rest and leisure?โ said Pierre, hurrying and lisping. โAnd I have done that though badly
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and to a small extent; but I have done something toward it and you cannot persuade me that it was not a good action, and more than that, you canโt make me believe that you do not think so yourself. And the main thing is,โ he continued, โthat I know, and know for certain, that the enjoyment of doing this good is the only sure happiness in life.โ
โYes, if you put it like that itโs quite a different matter,โ said Prince Andrew. โI build a house and lay out a garden, and you build hospitals. The one and the other may serve as a pastime.
But whatโs right and whatโs good must be judged by one who knows all, but not by us. Well, you want an argument,โ he added, โcome on then.โ
They rose from the table and sat down in the entrance porch which served as a veranda.
โCome, letโs argue then,โ said Prince Andrew, โYou talk of schools,โ he went on, crooking a finger, โeducation and so forth; that is, you want to raise himโ (pointing to a peasant who passed by them taking off his cap) โfrom his animal condition and awaken in him spiritual needs, while it seems to me that animal happiness is the only happiness possible, and that is just what you want to deprive him of. I envy him, but you want to make him what I am, without giving him my means. Then you say, โlighten his toil.โ But as I see it, physical labor is as essential to him, as much a condition of his existence, as mental activity is to you or me.
You canโt help thinking. I go to bed after two in the morning, thoughts come and I canโt sleep but toss about till dawn, because I think and canโt help thinking, just as he canโt help plowing and mowing; if he didnโt, he would go to the drink shop or fall ill. Just as I could not stand his terrible physical labor but should die of it in a week, so he could not stand my physical idleness, but would grow fat and die. The third thingโwhat else was it you talked about?โ and Prince Andrew crooked a third finger. โAh, yes, hospitals, medicine. He has a fit, he is dying, and you come and bleed him and patch him up. He will drag about as a cripple, a burden to everybody, for another ten years. It would be far easier and simpler for him to die.
Others are being born and there are plenty of them as it is. It would be different if you grudged losing a laborerโthatโs how I regard himโbut you want to cure him from love of him. And he does not want that. And besides, what a notion that medicine ever cured anyone!
Killed them, yes!โ said he, frowning angrily and turning away from Pierre.
Prince Andrew expressed his ideas so clearly and distinctly that it was evident he had reflected on this subject more than once, and he spoke readily and rapidly like a man who has not talked for a long time. His glance became more animated as his conclusions became more hopeless.
โOh, that is dreadful, dreadful!โ said Pierre. โI donโt understand how one can live with such ideas. I had such moments myself not long ago, in Moscow and when traveling, but at such times I collapsed so that I donโt live at allโeverything seems hateful to me… myself most of all. Then I donโt eat, donโt wash… and how is it with you?…โ
โWhy not wash? That is not cleanly,โ said Prince Andrew; โon the contrary one must try to make oneโs life as pleasant as possible. Iโm alive, that is not my fault, so I must live out my life as best I can without hurting others.โ
โBut with such ideas what motive have you for living? One would sit without moving, undertaking nothing….โ
โLife as it is leaves one no peace. I should be thankful to do nothing, but here on the one hand the local nobility have done me the honor to choose me to be their marshal; it was all I could do to get out of it. They could not understand that I have not the necessary qualifications for itโthe kind of good-natured, fussy shallowness necessary for the position. Then thereโs this house, which must be built in order to have a nook of oneโs own in which to be quiet. And now thereโs this recruiting.โ
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โWhy arenโt you serving in the army?โ
โAfter Austerlitz!โ said Prince Andrew gloomily. โNo, thank you very much! I have promised myself not to serve again in the active Russian army. And I wonโtโnot even if Bonaparte were here at Smolรฉnsk threatening Bald Hillsโeven then I wouldnโt serve in the Russian army! Well, as I was saying,โ he continued, recovering his composure, โnow thereโs this recruiting. My father is chief in command of the Third District, and my only way of avoiding active service is to serve under him.โ
โThen you are serving?โ
โI am.โ
He paused a little while.
โAnd why do you serve?โ
โWhy, for this reason! My father is one of the most remarkable men of his time. But he is growing old, and though not exactly cruel he has too energetic a character. He is so accustomed to unlimited power that he is terrible, and now he has this authority of a commander in chief of the recruiting, granted by the Emperor. If I had been two hours late a fortnight ago he would have had a paymasterโs clerk at Yรบkhnovna hanged,โ said Prince Andrew with a smile. โSo I am serving because I alone have any influence with my father, and now and then can save him from actions which would torment him afterwards.โ
โWell, there you see!โ
โYes, but it is not as you imagine,โ Prince Andrew continued. โI did not, and do not, in the least care about that scoundrel of a clerk who had stolen some boots from the recruits; I should even have been very glad to see him hanged, but I was sorry for my fatherโthat again is for myself.โ
Prince Andrew grew more and more animated. His eyes glittered feverishly while he tried to prove to Pierre that in his actions there was no desire to do good to his neighbor.
โThere now, you wish to liberate your serfs,โ he continued; โthat is a very good thing, but not for youโI donโt suppose you ever had anyone flogged or sent to Siberiaโand still less for your serfs. If they are beaten, flogged, or sent to Siberia, I donโt suppose they are any the worse off. In Siberia they lead the same animal life, and the stripes on their bodies heal, and they are happy as before. But it is a good thing for proprietors who perish morally, bring remorse upon themselves, stifle this remorse and grow callous, as a result of being able to inflict punishments justly and unjustly. It is those people I pity, and for their sake I should like to liberate the serfs. You may not have seen, but I have seen, how good men brought up in those traditions of unlimited power, in time when they grow more irritable, become cruel and harsh, are conscious of it, but cannot restrain themselves and grow more and more miserable.โ
Prince Andrew spoke so earnestly that Pierre could not help thinking that these thoughts had been suggested to Prince Andrew by his fatherโs case.
He did not reply.
โSo thatโs what Iโm sorry forโhuman dignity, peace of mind, purity, and not the serfsโ backs and foreheads, which, beat and shave as you may, always remain the same backs and foreheads.โ
โNo, no! A thousand times no! I shall never agree with you,โ said Pierre.