The Idiot Download PDF
The Idiot

Fyodor Dostoevsky

Chapter 36

quietly. His heart froze within him. He wouldnโ€™t, he couldnโ€™t confess her to
be a criminal, and yet he felt that something dreadful would happen the next
moment, something which would blast his whole life.

She seemed to wish to show him something, not far off, in the park.
He rose from his seat in order to follow her, when a bright, clear peal of

laughter rang out by his side. He felt somebodyโ€™s hand suddenly in his own,
seized it, pressed it hard, and awoke. Before him stood Aglaya, laughing
aloud.

VIII.
She laughed, but she was rather angry too.
โ€œHeโ€™s asleep! You were asleep,โ€ she said, with contemptuous surprise.
โ€œIs it really you?โ€ muttered the prince, not quite himself as yet, and

recognizing her with a start of amazement. โ€œOh yes, of course,โ€ he added,
โ€œthis is our rendezvous. I fell asleep here.โ€

โ€œSo I saw.โ€
โ€œDid no one awake me besides yourself? Was there no one else here? I

thought there was another woman.โ€
โ€œThere was another woman here?โ€
At last he was wide awake.
โ€œIt was a dream, of course,โ€ he said, musingly. โ€œStrange that I should

have a dream like that at such a moment. Sit downโ€”โ€
He took her hand and seated her on the bench; then sat down beside her

and reflected.
Aglaya did not begin the conversation, but contented herself with

watching her companion intently.
He looked back at her, but at times it was clear that he did not see her and

was not thinking of her.
Aglaya began to flush up.
โ€œOh yes!โ€ cried the prince, starting. โ€œHippolyteโ€™s suicideโ€”โ€
โ€œWhat? At your house?โ€ she asked, but without much surprise. โ€œHe was

alive yesterday evening, wasnโ€™t he? How could you sleep here after that?โ€

she cried, growing suddenly animated.
โ€œOh, but he didnโ€™t kill himself; the pistol didnโ€™t go off.โ€ Aglaya insisted

on hearing the whole story. She hurried the prince along, but interrupted
him with all sorts of questions, nearly all of which were irrelevant. Among
other things, she seemed greatly interested in every word that Evgenie
Pavlovitch had said, and made the prince repeat that part of the story over
and over again.

โ€œWell, thatโ€™ll do; we must be quick,โ€ she concluded, after hearing all.
โ€œWe have only an hour here, till eight; I must be home by then without fail,
so that they may not find out that I came and sat here with you; but Iโ€™ve
come on business. I have a great deal to say to you. But you have bowled
me over considerably with your news. As to Hippolyte, I think his pistol
was bound not to go off; it was more consistent with the whole affair. Are
you sure he really wished to blow his brains out, and that there was no
humbug about the matter?โ€

โ€œNo humbug at all.โ€
โ€œVery likely. So he wrote that you were to bring me a copy of his

confession, did he? Why didnโ€™t you bring it?โ€
โ€œWhy, he didnโ€™t die! Iโ€™ll ask him for it, if you like.โ€
โ€œBring it by all means; you neednโ€™t ask him. He will be delighted, you

may be sure; for, in all probability, he shot at himself simply in order that I
might read his confession. Donโ€™t laugh at what I say, please, Lef
Nicolaievitch, because it may very well be the case.โ€

โ€œIโ€™m not laughing. I am convinced, myself, that that may have been
partly the reason.โ€

โ€œYou are convinced? You donโ€™t really mean to say you think that
honestly?โ€ asked Aglaya, extremely surprised.

She put her questions very quickly and talked fast, every now and then
forgetting what she had begun to say, and not finishing her sentence. She
seemed to be impatient to warn the prince about something or other. She
was in a state of unusual excitement, and though she put on a brave and
even defiant air, she seemed to be rather alarmed. She was dressed very
simply, but this suited her well. She continually trembled and blushed, and
she sat on the very edge of the seat.

The fact that the prince confirmed her idea, about Hippolyte shooting
himself that she might read his confession, surprised her greatly.

โ€œOf course,โ€ added the prince, โ€œhe wished us all to applaud his conduct
โ€”besides yourself.โ€

โ€œHow do you meanโ€”applaud?โ€
โ€œWellโ€”how am I to explain? He was very anxious that we should all

come around him, and say we were so sorry for him, and that we loved him
very much, and all that; and that we hoped he wouldnโ€™t kill himself, but
remain alive. Very likely he thought more of you than the rest of us, because
he mentioned you at such a moment, though perhaps he did not know
himself that he had you in his mindโ€™s eye.โ€

โ€œI donโ€™t understand you. How could he have me in view, and not be
aware of it himself? And yet, I donโ€™t knowโ€”perhaps I do. Do you know I
have intended to poison myself at least thirty timesโ€”ever since I was
thirteen or soโ€”and to write to my parents before I did it? I used to think
how nice it would be to lie in my coffin, and have them all weeping over
me and saying it was all their fault for being so cruel, and all thatโ€”what are
you smiling at?โ€ she added, knitting her brow. โ€œWhat do you think of when
you go mooning about alone? I suppose you imagine yourself a field-
marshal, and think you have conquered Napoleon?โ€

โ€œWell, I really have thought something of the sort now and then,
especially when just dozing off,โ€ laughed the prince. โ€œOnly it is the
Austrians whom I conquerโ€”not Napoleon.โ€

โ€œI donโ€™t wish to joke with you, Lef Nicolaievitch. I shall see Hippolyte
myself. Tell him so. As for you, I think you are behaving very badly,
because it is not right to judge a manโ€™s soul as you are judging Hippolyteโ€™s.
You have no gentleness, but only justiceโ€”so you are unjust.โ€

The prince reflected.
โ€œI think you are unfair towards me,โ€ he said. โ€œThere is nothing wrong in

the thoughts I ascribe to Hippolyte; they are only natural. But of course I
donโ€™t know for certain what he thought. Perhaps he thought nothing, but
simply longed to see human faces once more, and to hear human praise and
feel human affection. Who knows? Only it all came out wrong, somehow.
Some people have luck, and everything comes out right with them; others
have none, and never a thing turns out fortunately.โ€

โ€œI suppose you have felt that in your own case,โ€ said Aglaya.
โ€œYes, I have,โ€ replied the prince, quite unsuspicious of any irony in the

remark.
โ€œHโ€™mโ€”well, at all events, I shouldnโ€™t have fallen asleep here, in your

place. It wasnโ€™t nice of you, that. I suppose you fall asleep wherever you sit
down?โ€

โ€œBut I didnโ€™t sleep a wink all night. I walked and walked about, and went
to where the music wasโ€”โ€

โ€œWhat music?โ€
โ€œWhere they played last night. Then I found this bench and sat down, and

thought and thoughtโ€”and at last I fell fast asleep.โ€
โ€œOh, is that it? That makes a difference, perhaps. What did you go to the

bandstand for?โ€
โ€œI donโ€™t know; Iโ€”โ€
โ€œVery wellโ€”afterwards. You are always interrupting me. What woman

was it you were dreaming about?โ€
โ€œIt wasโ€”aboutโ€”you saw herโ€”โ€
โ€œQuite so; I understand. I understand quite well. You are veryโ€”Well,

how did she appear to you? What did she look like? No, I donโ€™t want to
know anything about her,โ€ said Aglaya, angrily; โ€œdonโ€™t interrupt meโ€”โ€

She paused a moment as though getting breath, or trying to master her
feeling of annoyance.

โ€œLook here; this is what I called you here for. I wish to make you aโ€”to
ask you to be my friend. What do you stare at me like that for?โ€ she added,
almost angrily.

The prince certainly had darted a rather piercing look at her, and now
observed that she had begun to blush violently. At such moments, the more
Aglaya blushed, the angrier she grew with herself; and this was clearly
expressed in her eyes, which flashed like fire. As a rule, she vented her
wrath on her unfortunate companion, be it who it might. She was very
conscious of her own shyness, and was not nearly so talkative as her sisters
for this reasonโ€”in fact, at times she was much too quiet. When, therefore,
she was bound to talk, especially at such delicate moments as this, she

invariably did so with an air of haughty defiance. She always knew
beforehand when she was going to blush, long before the blush came.

โ€œPerhaps you do not wish to accept my proposition?โ€ she asked, gazing
haughtily at the prince.

โ€œOh yes, I do; but it is so unnecessary. I mean, I did not think you need
make such a proposition,โ€ said the prince, looking confused.

โ€œWhat did you suppose, then? Why did you think I invited you out here?
I suppose you think me a โ€˜little fool,โ€™ as they all call me at home?โ€

โ€œI didnโ€™t know they called you a fool. I certainly donโ€™t think you one.โ€
โ€œYou donโ€™t think me one! Oh, dear me!โ€”thatโ€™s very clever of you; you

put it so neatly, too.โ€
โ€œIn my opinion, you are far from a fool sometimesโ€”in fact, you are very

intelligent. You said a very clever thing just now about my being unjust
because I had only justice. I shall remember that, and think about it.โ€

Aglaya blushed with pleasure. All these changes in her expression came
about so naturally and so rapidlyโ€”they delighted the prince; he watched
her, and laughed.

โ€œListen,โ€ she began again; โ€œI have long waited to tell you all this, ever
since the time when you sent me that letterโ€”even before that. Half of what
I have to say you heard yesterday. I consider you the most honest and
upright of menโ€”more honest and upright than any other man; and if
anybody says that your mind isโ€”is sometimes affected, you knowโ€”it is
unfair. I always say so and uphold it, because even if your surface mind be a
little affected (of course you will not feel angry with me for talking soโ€”I
am speaking from a higher point of view) yet your real mind is far better
than all theirs put together. Such a mind as they have never even dreamed
of; because really, there are two mindsโ€”the kind that matters, and the kind
that doesnโ€™t matter. Isnโ€™t it so?โ€

โ€œMay be! may be so!โ€ said the prince, faintly; his heart was beating
painfully.

โ€œI knew you would not misunderstand me,โ€ she said, triumphantly.
โ€œPrince S. and Evgenie Pavlovitch and Alexandra donโ€™t understand
anything about these two kinds of mind, but, just fancy, mamma does!โ€

โ€œYou are very like Lizabetha Prokofievna.โ€

โ€œWhat! surely not?โ€ said Aglaya.
โ€œYes, you are, indeed.โ€
โ€œThank you; I am glad to be like mamma,โ€ she said, thoughtfully. โ€œYou

respect her very much, donโ€™t you?โ€ she added, quite unconscious of the
naiveness of the question.

โ€œVery much; and I am so glad that you have realized the fact.โ€
โ€œI am very glad, too, because she is often laughed at by people. But listen

to the chief point. I have long thought over the matter, and at last I have
chosen you. I donโ€™t wish people to laugh at me; I donโ€™t wish people to think
me a โ€˜little fool.โ€™ I donโ€™t want to be chaffed. I felt all this of a sudden, and I
refused Evgenie Pavlovitch flatly, because I am not going to be forever
thrown at peopleโ€™s heads to be married. I wantโ€”I wantโ€”well, Iโ€™ll tell you,
I wish to run away from home, and I have chosen you to help me.โ€

โ€œRun away from home?โ€ cried the prince.
โ€œYesโ€”yesโ€”yes! Run away from home!โ€ she repeated, in a transport of

rage. โ€œI wonโ€™t, I wonโ€™t be made to blush every minute by them all! I donโ€™t
want to blush before Prince S. or Evgenie Pavlovitch, or anyone, and
therefore I have chosen you. I shall tell you everything, everything, even the
most important things of all, whenever I like, and you are to hide nothing
from me on your side. I want to speak to at least one person, as I would to
myself. They have suddenly begun to say that I am waiting for you, and in
love with you. They began this before you arrived here, and so I didnโ€™t
show them the letter, and now they all say it, every one of them. I want to
be brave, and be afraid of nobody. I donโ€™t want to go to their balls and
thingsโ€”I want to do good. I have long desired to run away, for I have been
kept shut up for twenty years, and they are always trying to marry me off. I
wanted to run away when I was fourteen years oldโ€”I was a little fool then,
I knowโ€”but now I have worked it all out, and I have waited for you to tell
me about foreign countries. I have never seen a single Gothic cathedral. I
must go to Rome; I must see all the museums; I must study in Paris. All this
last year I have been preparing and reading forbidden books. Alexandra and
Adelaida are allowed to read anything they like, but I maynโ€™t. I donโ€™t want
to quarrel with my sisters, but I told my parents long ago that I wish to
change my social position. I have decided to take up teaching, and I count
on you because you said you loved children. Can we go in for education
togetherโ€”if not at once, then afterwards? We could do good together. I

wonโ€™t be a generalโ€™s daughter any more! Tell me, are you a very learned
man?โ€

โ€œOh no; not at all.โ€
โ€œOh-h-h! Iโ€™m sorry for that. I thought you were. I wonder why I always

thought soโ€”but at all events youโ€™ll help me, wonโ€™t you? Because Iโ€™ve
chosen you, you know.โ€

โ€œAglaya Ivanovna, itโ€™s absurd.โ€
โ€œBut I will, I will run away!โ€ she criedโ€”and her eyes flashed again with

angerโ€”โ€œand if you donโ€™t agree I shall go and marry Gavrila
Ardalionovitch! I wonโ€™t be considered a horrible girl, and accused of
goodness knows what.โ€

โ€œAre you out of your mind?โ€ cried the prince, almost starting from his
seat. โ€œWhat do they accuse you of? Who accuses you?โ€

โ€œAt home, everybody, mother, my sisters, Prince S., even that detestable
Colia! If they donโ€™t say it, they think it. I told them all so to their faces. I
told mother and father and everybody. Mamma was ill all the day after it,
and next day father and Alexandra told me that I didnโ€™t understand what
nonsense I was talking. I informed them that they little knew meโ€”I was not
a small childโ€”I understood every word in the languageโ€”that I had read a
couple of Paul de Kokโ€™s novels two years since on purpose, so as to know
all about everything. No sooner did mamma hear me say this than she
nearly fainted!โ€

A strange thought passed through the princeโ€™s brain; he gazed intently at
Aglaya and smiled.

He could not believe that this was the same haughty young girl who had
once so proudly shown him Ganiaโ€™s letter. He could not understand how
that proud and austere beauty could show herself to be such an utter childโ€”
a child who probably did not even now understand some words.

โ€œHave you always lived at home, Aglaya Ivanovna?โ€ he asked. โ€œI mean,
have you never been to school, or college, or anything?โ€

โ€œNoโ€”neverโ€”nowhere! Iโ€™ve been at home all my life, corked up in a
bottle; and they expect me to be married straight out of it. What are you
laughing at again? I observe that you, too, have taken to laughing at me, and
range yourself on their side against me,โ€ she added, frowning angrily.
โ€œDonโ€™t irritate meโ€”Iโ€™m bad enough without thatโ€”I donโ€™t know what I am

doing sometimes. I am persuaded that you came here today in the full belief
that I am in love with you, and that I arranged this meeting because of that,โ€
she cried, with annoyance.

โ€œI admit I was afraid that that was the case, yesterday,โ€ blundered the
prince (he was rather confused), โ€œbut today I am quite convinced thatโ€”โ€

โ€œHow?โ€ cried Aglayaโ€”and her lower lip trembled violently. โ€œYou were
afraid that Iโ€”you dared to think that Iโ€”good gracious! you suspected,
perhaps, that I sent for you to come here in order to catch you in a trap, so
that they should find us here together, and make you marry meโ€”โ€

โ€œAglaya Ivanovna, arenโ€™t you ashamed of saying such a thing? How
could such a horrible idea enter your sweet, innocent heart? I am certain
you donโ€™t believe a word of what you say, and probably you donโ€™t even
know what you are talking about.โ€

Aglaya sat with her eyes on the ground; she seemed to have alarmed even
herself by what she had said.

โ€œNo, Iโ€™m not; Iโ€™m not a bit ashamed!โ€ she murmured. โ€œAnd how do you
know my heart is innocent? And how dared you send me a love-letter that
time?โ€

โ€œLove-letter? My letter a love-letter? That letter was the most respectful
of letters; it went straight from my heart, at what was perhaps the most
painful moment of my life! I thought of you at the time as a kind of light. I
โ€”โ€

โ€œWell, very well, very well!โ€ she said, but quite in a different tone. She
was remorseful now, and bent forward to touch his shoulder, though still
trying not to look him in the face, as if the more persuasively to beg him not
to be angry with her. โ€œVery well,โ€ she continued, looking thoroughly
ashamed of herself, โ€œI feel that I said a very foolish thing. I only did it just
to try you. Take it as unsaid, and if I offended you, forgive me. Donโ€™t look
straight at me like that, please; turn your head away. You called it a
โ€˜horrible ideaโ€™; I only said it to shock you. Very often I am myself afraid of
saying what I intend to say, and out it comes all the same. You have just told
me that you wrote that letter at the most painful moment of your life. I
know what moment that was!โ€ she added softly, looking at the ground
again.

โ€œOh, if you could know all!โ€

โ€œI do know all!โ€ she cried, with another burst of indignation. โ€œYou were
living in the same house as that horrible woman with whom you ran away.โ€
She did not blush as she said this; on the contrary, she grew pale, and
started from her seat, apparently oblivious of what she did, and immediately
sat down again. Her lip continued to tremble for a long time.

There was silence for a moment. The prince was taken aback by the
suddenness of this last reply, and did not know to what he should attribute
it.

โ€œI donโ€™t love you a bit!โ€ she said suddenly, just as though the words had
exploded from her mouth.

The prince did not answer, and there was silence again. โ€œI love Gavrila
Ardalionovitch,โ€ she said, quickly; but hardly audibly, and with her head
bent lower than ever.

โ€œThat is not true,โ€ said the prince, in an equally low voice.
โ€œWhat! I tell stories, do I? It is true! I gave him my promise a couple of

days ago on this very seat.โ€
The prince was startled, and reflected for a moment.
โ€œIt is not true,โ€ he repeated, decidedly; โ€œyou have just invented it!โ€
โ€œYou are wonderfully polite. You know he is greatly improved. He loves

me better than his life. He let his hand burn before my very eyes in order to
prove to me that he loved me better than his life!โ€

โ€œHe burned his hand!โ€
โ€œYes, believe it or not! Itโ€™s all the same to me!โ€
The prince sat silent once more. Aglaya did not seem to be joking; she

was too angry for that.
โ€œWhat! he brought a candle with him to this place? That is, if the episode

happened here; otherwise I canโ€™t.โ€
โ€œYes, a candle! Whatโ€™s there improbable about that?โ€
โ€œA whole one, and in a candlestick?โ€
โ€œYesโ€”noโ€”half a candleโ€”an end, you knowโ€”no, it was a whole candle;

itโ€™s all the same. Be quiet, canโ€™t you! He brought a box of matches too, if
you like, and then lighted the candle and held his finger in it for half an
hour and more!โ€”There! Canโ€™t that be?โ€

โ€œI saw him yesterday, and his fingers were all right!โ€

Aglaya suddenly burst out laughing, as simply as a child.
โ€œDo you know why I have just told you these lies?โ€ She appealed to the

prince, of a sudden, with the most childlike candour, and with the laugh still
trembling on her lips. โ€œBecause when one tells a lie, if one insists on
something unusual and eccentricโ€”something too โ€˜out of the wayโ€™ for
anything, you knowโ€”the more impossible the thing is, the more plausible
does the lie sound. Iโ€™ve noticed this. But I managed it badly; I didnโ€™t know
how to work it.โ€ She suddenly frowned again at this point as though at
some sudden unpleasant recollection.

โ€œIfโ€โ€”she began, looking seriously and even sadly at himโ€”โ€œif when I
read you all that about the โ€˜poor knight,โ€™ I wished to-to praise you for one
thingโ€”I also wished to show you that I knew allโ€”and did not approve of
your conduct.โ€

โ€œYou are very unfair to me, and to that unfortunate woman of whom you
spoke just now in such dreadful terms, Aglaya.โ€

โ€œBecause I know all, allโ€”and that is why I speak so. I know very well
how youโ€”half a year sinceโ€”offered her your hand before everybody.
Donโ€™t interrupt me. You see, I am merely stating facts without any comment
upon them. After that she ran away with Rogojin. Then you lived with her
at some village or town, and she ran away from you.โ€ (Aglaya blushed
dreadfully.) โ€œThen she returned to Rogojin again, who loves her like a
madman. Then youโ€”like a wise man as you areโ€”came back here after her
as soon as ever you heard that she had returned to Petersburg. Yesterday
evening you sprang forward to protect her, and just now you dreamed about
her. You see, I know all. You did come back here for her, for herโ€”now
didnโ€™t you?โ€

โ€œYesโ€”for her!โ€ said the prince softly and sadly, and bending his head
down, quite unconscious of the fact that Aglaya was gazing at him with
eyes which burned like live coals. โ€œI came to find out somethingโ€”I donโ€™t
believe in her future happiness as Rogojinโ€™s wife, althoughโ€”in a word, I
did not know how to help her or what to do for herโ€”but I came, on the
chance.โ€

He glanced at Aglaya, who was listening with a look of hatred on her
face.

โ€œIf you came without knowing why, I suppose you love her very much
indeed!โ€ she said at last.

โ€œNo,โ€ said the prince, โ€œno, I do not love her. Oh! if you only knew with
what horror I recall the time I spent with her!โ€

A shudder seemed to sweep over his whole body at the recollection.
โ€œTell me about it,โ€ said Aglaya.
โ€œThere is nothing which you might not hear. Why I should wish to tell

you, and only you, this experience of mine, I really cannot say; perhaps it
really is because I love you very much. This unhappy woman is persuaded
that she is the most hopeless, fallen creature in the world. Oh, do not
condemn her! Do not cast stones at her! She has suffered too much already
in the consciousness of her own undeserved shame.

โ€œAnd she is not guiltyโ€”oh God!โ€”Every moment she bemoans and
bewails herself, and cries out that she does not admit any guilt, that she is
the victim of circumstancesโ€”the victim of a wicked libertine.

โ€œBut whatever she may say, remember that she does not believe it
herself,โ€”remember that she will believe nothing but that she is a guilty
creature.

โ€œWhen I tried to rid her soul of this gloomy fallacy, she suffered so
terribly that my heart will never be quite at peace so long as I can remember
that dreadful time!โ€”Do you know why she left me? Simply to prove to me
what is not trueโ€”that she is base. But the worst of it is, she did not realize
herself that that was all she wanted to prove by her departure! She went
away in response to some inner prompting to do something disgraceful, in
order that she might say to herselfโ€”โ€˜Thereโ€”youโ€™ve done a new act of
shameโ€”you degraded creature!โ€™

โ€œOh, Aglayaโ€”perhaps you cannot understand all this. Try to realize that
in the perpetual admission of guilt she probably finds some dreadful
unnatural satisfactionโ€”as though she were revenging herself upon
someone.

โ€œNow and then I was able to persuade her almost to see light around her
again; but she would soon fall, once more, into her old tormenting
delusions, and would go so far as to reproach me for placing myself on a
pedestal above her (I never had an idea of such a thing!), and informed me,
in reply to my proposal of marriage, that she โ€˜did not want condescending
sympathy or help from anybody.โ€™ You saw her last night. You donโ€™t suppose
she can be happy among such people as thoseโ€”you cannot suppose that

such society is fit for her? You have no idea how well-educated she is, and
what an intellect she has! She astonished me sometimes.โ€

โ€œAnd you preached her sermons there, did you?โ€
โ€œOh no,โ€ continued the prince thoughtfully, not noticing Aglayaโ€™s

mocking tone, โ€œI was almost always silent there. I often wished to speak,
but I really did not know what to say. In some cases it is best to say nothing,
I think. I loved her, yes, I loved her very much indeed; but afterwardsโ€”
afterwards she guessed all.โ€

โ€œWhat did she guess?โ€
โ€œThat I only pitied herโ€”andโ€”and loved her no longer!โ€
โ€œHow do you know that? How do you know that she is not really in love

with thatโ€”that rich cadโ€”the man she eloped with?โ€
โ€œOh no! I know she only laughs at him; she has made a fool of him all

along.โ€
โ€œHas she never laughed at you?โ€
โ€œNoโ€”in anger, perhaps. Oh yes! she reproached me dreadfully in anger;

and suffered herself, too! But afterwardsโ€”oh! donโ€™t remind meโ€”donโ€™t
remind me of that!โ€

He hid his face in his hands.
โ€œAre you aware that she writes to me almost every day?โ€
โ€œSo that is true, is it?โ€ cried the prince, greatly agitated. โ€œI had heard a

report of it, but would not believe it.โ€
โ€œWhom did you hear it from?โ€ asked Aglaya, alarmed. โ€œRogojin said

something about it yesterday, but nothing definite.โ€
โ€œYesterday! Morning or evening? Before the music or after?โ€
โ€œAfterโ€”it was about twelve oโ€™clock.โ€
โ€œAh! Well, if it was Rogojinโ€”but do you know what she writes to me

about?โ€
โ€œI should not be surprised by anything. She is mad!โ€
โ€œThere are the letters.โ€ (Aglaya took three letters out of her pocket and

threw them down before the prince.) โ€œFor a whole week she has been
entreating and worrying and persuading me to marry you. Sheโ€”well, she is
clever, though she may be madโ€”much cleverer than I am, as you say. Well,

she writes that she is in love with me herself, and tries to see me every day,
if only from a distance. She writes that you love me, and that she has long
known it and seen it, and that you and she talked about meโ€”there. She
wishes to see you happy, and she says that she is certain only I can ensure
you the happiness you deserve. She writes such strange, wild lettersโ€”I
havenโ€™t shown them to anyone. Now, do you know what all this means?
Can you guess anything?โ€

โ€œIt is madnessโ€”it is merely another proof of her insanity!โ€ said the
prince, and his lips trembled.

โ€œYou are crying, arenโ€™t you?โ€
โ€œNo, Aglaya. No, Iโ€™m not crying.โ€ The prince looked at her.
โ€œWell, what am I to do? What do you advise me? I cannot go on

receiving these letters, you know.โ€
โ€œOh, let her alone, I entreat you!โ€ cried the prince. โ€œWhat can you do in

this dark, gloomy mystery? Let her alone, and Iโ€™ll use all my power to
prevent her writing you any more letters.โ€

โ€œIf so, you are a heartless man!โ€ cried Aglaya. โ€œAs if you canโ€™t see that it
is not myself she loves, but you, you, and only you! Surely you have not
remarked everything else in her, and only not this? Do you know what these
letters mean? They mean jealousy, sirโ€”nothing but pure jealousy! Sheโ€”do
you think she will ever really marry this Rogojin, as she says here she will?
She would take her own life the day after you and I were married.โ€

The prince shuddered; his heart seemed to freeze within him. He gazed at
Aglaya in wonderment; it was difficult for him to realize that this child was
also a woman.

โ€œGod knows, Aglaya, that to restore her peace of mind and make her
happy I would willingly give up my life. But I cannot love her, and she
knows that.โ€

โ€œOh, make a sacrifice of yourself! That sort of thing becomes you well,
you know. Why not do it? And donโ€™t call me โ€˜Aglayaโ€™; you have done it
several times lately. You are bound, it is your duty to โ€˜raiseโ€™ her; you must
go off somewhere again to soothe and pacify her. Why, you love her, you
know!โ€

โ€œI cannot sacrifice myself so, though I admit I did wish to do so once.
Who knows, perhaps I still wish to! But I know for certain, that if she

married me it would be her ruin; I know this and therefore I leave her alone.
I ought to go to see her today; now I shall probably not go. She is proud,
she would never forgive me the nature of the love I bear her, and we should
both be ruined. This may be unnatural, I donโ€™t know; but everything seems
unnatural. You say she loves me, as if this were love! As if she could love
me, after what I have been through! No, no, it is not love.โ€

โ€œHow pale you have grown!โ€ cried Aglaya in alarm.
โ€œOh, itโ€™s nothing. I havenโ€™t slept, thatโ€™s all, and Iโ€™m rather tired. Iโ€”we

certainly did talk about you, Aglaya.โ€
โ€œOh, indeed, it is true then! You could actually talk about me with her;

andโ€”and how could you have been fond of me when you had only seen me
once?โ€

โ€œI donโ€™t know. Perhaps it was that I seemed to come upon light in the
midst of my gloom. I told you the truth when I said I did not know why I
thought of you before all others. Of course it was all a sort of dream, a
dream amidst the horrors of reality. Afterwards I began to work. I did not
intend to come back here for two or three yearsโ€”โ€

โ€œThen you came for her sake?โ€ Aglayaโ€™s voice trembled.
โ€œYes, I came for her sake.โ€
There was a moment or two of gloomy silence. Aglaya rose from her

seat.
โ€œIf you say,โ€ she began in shaky tones, โ€œif you say that this woman of

yours is madโ€”at all events I have nothing to do with her insane fancies.
Kindly take these three letters, Lef Nicolaievitch, and throw them back to
her, from me. And if she dares,โ€ cried Aglaya suddenly, much louder than
before, โ€œif she dares so much as write me one word again, tell her I shall tell
my father, and that she shall be taken to a lunatic asylum.โ€

The prince jumped up in alarm at Aglayaโ€™s sudden wrath, and a mist
seemed to come before his eyes.

โ€œYou cannot really feel like that! You donโ€™t mean what you say. It is not
true,โ€ he murmured.

โ€œIt is true, it is true,โ€ cried Aglaya, almost beside herself with rage.
โ€œWhatโ€™s true? Whatโ€™s all this? Whatโ€™s true?โ€ said an alarmed voice just

beside them.

Table of Contents

Part 1 - Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Part 2 - Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Part 3 - Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Part 4 - Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 45
Chapter 46
Chapter 47
Chapter 48
Chapter 49
Chapter 50