CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
DARK DAYS
Beth did have the fever, and was much sicker than anyone but Hannah
and the doctor suspected. The girls knew nothing about illness, and Mr.
Laurence was not allowed to see her, so Hannah had everything her own
way, and busy Dr. Bangs did his best, but left a good deal to the excellent
nurse. Meg stayed at home, lest she should infect the Kings, and kept house,
feeling very anxious and a little guilty when she wrote letters in which no
mention was made of Beth’s illness. She could not think it right to deceive
her mother, but she had been bidden to mind Hannah, and Hannah wouldn’t
hear of ‘Mrs. March bein’ told, and worried just for sech a trifle.’
Jo devoted herself to Beth day and night, not a hard task, for Beth was
very patient, and bore her pain uncomplainingly as long as she could
control herself. But there came a time when during the fever fits she began
to talk in a hoarse, broken voice, to play on the coverlet as if on her beloved
little piano, and try to sing with a throat so swollen that there was no music
left, a time when she did not know the familiar faces around her, but
addressed them by wrong names, and called imploringly for her mother.
Then Jo grew frightened, Meg begged to be allowed to write the truth, and
even Hannah said she ‘would think of it, though there was no danger yet’. A
letter from Washington added to their trouble, for Mr. March had had a
relapse, and could not think of coming home for a long while.
How dark the days seemed now, how sad and lonely the house, and how
heavy were the hearts of the sisters as they worked and waited, while the
shadow of death hovered over the once happy home. Then it was that
Margaret, sitting alone with tears dropping often on her work, felt how rich
she had been in things more precious than any luxuries money could buy—
in love, protection, peace, and health, the real blessings of life. Then it was
that Jo, living in the darkened room, with that suffering little sister always
before her eyes and that pathetic voice sounding in her ears, learned to see
the beauty and the sweetness of Beth’s nature, to feel how deep and tender a
place she filled in all hearts, and to acknowledge the worth of Beth’s
unselfish ambition to live for others, and make home happy by that exercise
of those simple virtues which all may possess, and which all should love
and value more than talent, wealth, or beauty. And Amy, in her exile, longed
eagerly to be at home, that she might work for Beth, feeling now that no
service would be hard or irksome, and remembering, with regretful grief,
how many neglected tasks those willing hands had done for her. Laurie
haunted the house like a restless ghost, and Mr. Laurence locked the grand
piano, because he could not bear to be reminded of the young neighbor who
used to make the twilight pleasant for him. Everyone missed Beth. The
milkman, baker, grocer, and butcher inquired how she did, poor Mrs.
Hummel came to beg pardon for her thoughtlessness and to get a shroud for
Minna, the neighbors sent all sorts of comforts and good wishes, and even
those who knew her best were surprised to find how many friends shy little
Beth had made.
Meanwhile she lay on her bed with old Joanna at her side, for even in her
wanderings she did not forget her forlorn protege. She longed for her cats,
but would not have them brought, lest they should get sick, and in her quiet
hours she was full of anxiety about Jo. She sent loving messages to Amy,
bade them tell her mother that she would write soon, and often begged for
pencil and paper to try to say a word, that Father might not think she had
neglected him. But soon even these intervals of consciousness ended, and
she lay hour after hour, tossing to and fro, with incoherent words on her
lips, or sank into a heavy sleep which brought her no refreshment. Dr.
Bangs came twice a day, Hannah sat up at night, Meg kept a telegram in her
desk all ready to send off at any minute, and Jo never stirred from Beth’s
side.
The first of December was a wintry day indeed to them, for a bitter wind
blew, snow fell fast, and the year seemed getting ready for its death. When
Dr. Bangs came that morning, he looked long at Beth, held the hot hand in
both his own for a minute, and laid it gently down, saying, in a low voice to
Hannah, “If Mrs. March can leave her husband she’d better be sent for.”
Hannah nodded without speaking, for her lips twitched nervously, Meg
dropped down into a chair as the strength seemed to go out of her limbs at
the sound of those words, and Jo, standing with a pale face for a minute, ran
to the parlor, snatched up the telegram, and throwing on her things, rushed
out into the storm. She was soon back, and while noiselessly taking off her
cloak, Laurie came in with a letter, saying that Mr. March was mending
again. Jo read it thankfully, but the heavy weight did not seem lifted off her
heart, and her face was so full of misery that Laurie asked quickly, “What is
it? Is Beth worse?”
“I’ve sent for Mother,” said Jo, tugging at her rubber boots with a tragic
expression.
“Good for you, Jo! Did you do it on your own responsibility?” asked
Laurie, as he seated her in the hall chair and took off the rebellious boots,
seeing how her hands shook.
“No. The doctor told us to.”
“Oh, Jo, it’s not so bad as that?” cried Laurie, with a startled face.
“Yes, it is. She doesn’t know us, she doesn’t even talk about the flocks of
green doves, as she calls the vine leaves on the wall. She doesn’t look like
my Beth, and there’s nobody to help us bear it. Mother and father both
gone, and God seems so far away I can’t find Him.”
As the tears streamed fast down poor Jo’s cheeks, she stretched out her
hand in a helpless sort of way, as if groping in the dark, and Laurie took it
in his, whispering as well as he could with a lump in his throat, “I’m here.
Hold on to me, Jo, dear!”
She could not speak, but she did ‘hold on’, and the warm grasp of the
friendly human hand comforted her sore heart, and seemed to lead her
nearer to the Divine arm which alone could uphold her in her trouble.
Laurie longed to say something tender and comfortable, but no fitting
words came to him, so he stood silent, gently stroking her bent head as her
mother used to do. It was the best thing he could have done, far more
soothing than the most eloquent words, for Jo felt the unspoken sympathy,
and in the silence learned the sweet solace which affection administers to
sorrow. Soon she dried the tears which had relieved her, and looked up with
a grateful face.
“Thank you, Teddy, I’m better now. I don’t feel so forlorn, and will try to
bear it if it comes.”
“Keep hoping for the best, that will help you, Jo. Soon your mother will
be here, and then everything will be all right.”
“I’m so glad Father is better. Now she won’t feel so bad about leaving
him. Oh, me! It does seem as if all the troubles came in a heap, and I got the
heaviest part on my shoulders,” sighed Jo, spreading her wet handkerchief
over her knees to dry.
“Doesn’t Meg pull fair?” asked Laurie, looking indignant.
“Oh, yes, she tries to, but she can’t love Bethy as I do, and she won’t
miss her as I shall. Beth is my conscience, and I can’t give her up. I can’t! I
can’t!”
Down went Jo’s face into the wet handkerchief, and she cried
despairingly, for she had kept up bravely till now and never shed a tear.
Laurie drew his hand across his eyes, but could not speak till he had
subdued the choky feeling in his throat and steadied his lips. It might be
unmanly, but he couldn’t help it, and I am glad of it. Presently, as Jo’s sobs
quieted, he said hopefully, “I don’t think she will die. She’s so good, and we
all love her so much, I don’t believe God will take her away yet.”
“The good and dear people always do die,” groaned Jo, but she stopped
crying, for her friend’s words cheered her up in spite of her own doubts and
fears.
“Poor girl, you’re worn out. It isn’t like you to be forlorn. Stop a bit. I’ll
hearten you up in a jiffy.”
Laurie went off two stairs at a time, and Jo laid her wearied head down
on Beth’s little brown hood, which no one had thought of moving from the
table where she left it. It must have possessed some magic, for the
submissive spirit of its gentle owner seemed to enter into Jo, and when
Laurie came running down with a glass of wine, she took it with a smile,
and said bravely, “I drink— Health to my Beth! You are a good doctor,
Teddy, and such a comfortable friend. How can I ever pay you?” she added,
as the wine refreshed her body, as the kind words had done her troubled
mind.
“I’ll send my bill, by-and-by, and tonight I’ll give you something that
will warm the cockles of your heart better than quarts of wine,” said Laurie,
beaming at her with a face of suppressed satisfaction at something.
“What is it?” cried Jo, forgetting her woes for a minute in her wonder.
“I telegraphed to your mother yesterday, and Brooke answered she’d
come at once, and she’ll be here tonight, and everything will be all right.
Aren’t you glad I did it?”
Laurie spoke very fast, and turned red and excited all in a minute, for he
had kept his plot a secret, for fear of disappointing the girls or harming
Beth. Jo grew quite white, flew out of her chair, and the moment he stopped
speaking she electrified him by throwing her arms round his neck, and
crying out, with a joyful cry, “Oh, Laurie! Oh, Mother! I am so glad!” She
did not weep again, but laughed hysterically, and trembled and clung to her
friend as if she was a little bewildered by the sudden news.
Laurie, though decidedly amazed, behaved with great presence of mind.
He patted her back soothingly, and finding that she was recovering,
followed it up by a bashful kiss or two, which brought Jo round at once.
Holding on to the banisters, she put him gently away, saying breathlessly,
“Oh, don’t! I didn’t mean to, it was dreadful of me, but you were such a
dear to go and do it in spite of Hannah that I couldn’t help flying at you.
Tell me all about it, and don’t give me wine again, it makes me act so.”
“I don’t mind,” laughed Laurie, as he settled his tie. “Why, you see I got
fidgety, and so did Grandpa. We thought Hannah was overdoing the
authority business, and your mother ought to know. She’d never forgive us
if Beth… Well, if anything happened, you know. So I got grandpa to say it
was high time we did something, and off I pelted to the office yesterday, for
the doctor looked sober, and Hannah most took my head off when I
proposed a telegram. I never can bear to be ‘lorded over’, so that settled my
mind, and I did it. Your mother will come, I know, and the late train is in at
two A.M. I shall go for her, and you’ve only got to bottle up your rapture,
and keep Beth quiet till that blessed lady gets here.”
“Laurie, you’re an angel! How shall I ever thank you?”
“Fly at me again. I rather liked it,” said Laurie, looking mischievous, a
thing he had not done for a fortnight.
“No, thank you. I’ll do it by proxy, when your grandpa comes. Don’t
tease, but go home and rest, for you’ll be up half the night. Bless you,
Teddy, bless you!”
Jo had backed into a corner, and as she finished her speech, she vanished
precipitately into the kitchen, where she sat down upon a dresser and told
the assembled cats that she was “happy, oh, so happy!” while Laurie
departed, feeling that he had made a rather neat thing of it.
“That’s the interferingest chap I ever see, but I forgive him and do hope
Mrs. March is coming right away,” said Hannah, with an air of relief, when
Jo told the good news.
Meg had a quiet rapture, and then brooded over the letter, while Jo set the
sickroom in order, and Hannah “knocked up a couple of pies in case of
company unexpected”. A breath of fresh air seemed to blow through the
house, and something better than sunshine brightened the quiet rooms.
Everything appeared to feel the hopeful change. Beth’s bird began to chirp
again, and a half-blown rose was discovered on Amy’s bush in the window.
The fires seemed to burn with unusual cheeriness, and every time the girls
met, their pale faces broke into smiles as they hugged one another,
whispering encouragingly, “Mother’s coming, dear! Mother’s coming!”
Every one rejoiced but Beth. She lay in that heavy stupor, alike unconscious
of hope and joy, doubt and danger. It was a piteous sight, the once rosy face
so changed and vacant, the once busy hands so weak and wasted, the once
smiling lips quite dumb, and the once pretty, well-kept hair scattered rough
and tangled on the pillow. All day she lay so, only rousing now and then to
mutter, “Water!” with lips so parched they could hardly shape the word. All
day Jo and Meg hovered over her, watching, waiting, hoping, and trusting
in God and Mother, and all day the snow fell, the bitter wind raged, and the
hours dragged slowly by. But night came at last, and every time the clock
struck, the sisters, still sitting on either side of the bed, looked at each other
with brightening eyes, for each hour brought help nearer. The doctor had
been in to say that some change, for better or worse, would probably take
place about midnight, at which time he would return.
Hannah, quite worn out, lay down on the sofa at the bed’s foot and fell
fast asleep, Mr. Laurence marched to and fro in the parlor, feeling that he
would rather face a rebel battery than Mrs. March’s countenance as she
entered. Laurie lay on the rug, pretending to rest, but staring into the fire
with the thoughtful look which made his black eyes beautifully soft and
clear.
The girls never forgot that night, for no sleep came to them as they kept
their watch, with that dreadful sense of powerlessness which comes to us in
hours like those.
“If God spares Beth, I never will complain again,” whispered Meg
earnestly.
“If God spares Beth, I’ll try to love and serve Him all my life,” answered
Jo, with equal fervor.
“I wish I had no heart, it aches so,” sighed Meg, after a pause.
“If life is often as hard as this, I don’t see how we ever shall get through
it,” added her sister despondently.
Here the clock struck twelve, and both forgot themselves in watching
Beth, for they fancied a change passed over her wan face. The house was
still as death, and nothing but the wailing of the wind broke the deep hush.
Weary Hannah slept on, and no one but the sisters saw the pale shadow
which seemed to fall upon the little bed. An hour went by, and nothing
happened except Laurie’s quiet departure for the station. Another hour, still
no one came, and anxious fears of delay in the storm, or accidents by the
way, or, worst of all, a great grief at Washington, haunted the girls.
It was past two, when Jo, who stood at the window thinking how dreary
the world looked in its winding sheet of snow, heard a movement by the
bed, and turning quickly, saw Meg kneeling before their mother’s easy chair
with her face hidden. A dreadful fear passed coldly over Jo, as she thought,
“Beth is dead, and Meg is afraid to tell me.”
She was back at her post in an instant, and to her excited eyes a great
change seemed to have taken place. The fever flush and the look of pain
were gone, and the beloved little face looked so pale and peaceful in its
utter repose that Jo felt no desire to weep or to lament. Leaning low over
this dearest of her sisters, she kissed the damp forehead with her heart on
her lips, and softly whispered, “Good-by, my Beth. Good-by!”
As if awaked by the stir, Hannah started out of her sleep, hurried to the
bed, looked at Beth, felt her hands, listened at her lips, and then, throwing
her apron over her head, sat down to rock to and fro, exclaiming, under her
breath, “The fever’s turned, she’s sleepin’ nat’ral, her skin’s damp, and she
breathes easy. Praise be given! Oh, my goodness me!”
Before the girls could believe the happy truth, the doctor came to confirm
it. He was a homely man, but they thought his face quite heavenly when he
smiled and said, with a fatherly look at them, “Yes, my dears, I think the
little girl will pull through this time. Keep the house quiet, let her sleep, and
when she wakes, give her…”
What they were to give, neither heard, for both crept into the dark hall,
and, sitting on the stairs, held each other close, rejoicing with hearts too full
for words. When they went back to be kissed and cuddled by faithful
Hannah, they found Beth lying, as she used to do, with her cheek pillowed
on her hand, the dreadful pallor gone, and breathing quietly, as if just fallen
asleep.
“If Mother would only come now!” said Jo, as the winter night began to
wane.
“See,” said Meg, coming up with a white, half-opened rose, “I thought
this would hardly be ready to lay in Beth’s hand tomorrow if she—went
away from us. But it has blossomed in the night, and now I mean to put it in
my vase here, so that when the darling wakes, the first thing she sees will be
the little rose, and Mother’s face.”
Never had the sun risen so beautifully, and never had the world seemed
so lovely as it did to the heavy eyes of Meg and Jo, as they looked out in the
early morning, when their long, sad vigil was done.
“It looks like a fairy world,” said Meg, smiling to herself, as she stood
behind the curtain, watching the dazzling sight.
“Hark!” cried Jo, starting to her feet.
Yes, there was a sound of bells at the door below, a cry from Hannah, and
then Laurie’s voice saying in a joyful whisper, “Girls, she’s come! She’s
come!”
