I both wished and feared to see Mr. Rochester on the day which followed this sleepless
night: I wanted to hear his voice again, yet feared to meet his eye. During the early part
of the morning, I momentarily expected his coming; he was not in the frequent habit of
entering the schoolroom, but he did step in for a few minutes sometimes, and I had the
impression that he was sure to visit it that day.
But the morning passed just as usual: nothing happened to interrupt the quiet course of
Adèle’s studies; only soon after breakfast, I heard some bustle in the neighbourhood of
Mr. Rochester’s chamber, Mrs. Fairfax’s voice, and Leah’s, and the cook’s—that is, John’s
wife—and even John’s own gruff tones. There were exclamations of “What a mercy
master was not burnt in his bed!” “It is always dangerous to keep a candle lit at night.”
“How providential that he had presence of mind to think of the water-jug!” “I wonder he
waked nobody!” “It is to be hoped he will not take cold with sleeping on the library
sofa,” &c.
To much confabulation succeeded a sound of scrubbing and setting to rights; and when I
passed the room, in going downstairs to dinner, I saw through the open door that all
was again restored to complete order; only the bed was stripped of its hangings. Leah
stood up in the window-seat, rubbing the panes of glass dimmed with smoke. I was
about to address her, for I wished to know what account had been given of the affair:
but, on advancing, I saw a second person in the chamber—a woman sitting on a chair by
the bedside, and sewing rings to new curtains. That woman was no other than Grace
Poole.
There she sat, staid and taciturn-looking, as usual, in her brown stuff gown, her check
apron, white handkerchief, and cap. She was intent on her work, in which her whole
thoughts seemed absorbed: on her hard forehead, and in her commonplace features,
was nothing either of the paleness or desperation one would have expected to see
marking the countenance of a woman who had attempted murder, and whose intended
victim had followed her last night to her lair, and (as I believed), charged her with the
crime she wished to perpetrate. I was amazed—confounded. She looked up, while I still
gazed at her: no start, no increase or failure of colour betrayed emotion, consciousness
of guilt, or fear of detection. She said “Good morning, Miss,” in her usual phlegmatic and
brief manner; and taking up another ring and more tape, went on with her sewing.
“I will put her to some test,” thought I: “such absolute impenetrability is past
comprehension.”
“Good morning, Grace,” I said. “Has anything happened here? I thought I heard the
servants all talking together a while ago.”
“Only master had been reading in his bed last night; he fell asleep with his candle lit, and
the curtains got on fire; but, fortunately, he awoke before the bed-clothes or the wood-
work caught, and contrived to quench the flames with the water in the ewer.”
“A strange affair!” I said, in a low voice: then, looking at her fixedly—“Did Mr. Rochester
wake nobody? Did no one hear him move?”
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She again raised her eyes to me, and this time there was something of consciousness in
their expression. She seemed to examine me warily; then she answered—
“The servants sleep so far off, you know, Miss, they would not be likely to hear. Mrs.
Fairfax’s room and yours are the nearest to master’s; but Mrs. Fairfax said she heard
nothing: when people get elderly, they often sleep heavy.” She paused, and then added,
with a sort of assumed indifference, but still in a marked and significant tone—“But you
are young, Miss; and I should say a light sleeper: perhaps you may have heard a noise?”
“I did,” said I, dropping my voice, so that Leah, who was still polishing the panes, could
not hear me, “and at first I thought it was Pilot: but Pilot cannot laugh; and I am certain I
heard a laugh, and a strange one.”
She took a new needleful of thread, waxed it carefully, threaded her needle with a
steady hand, and then observed, with perfect composure—
“It is hardly likely master would laugh, I should think, Miss, when he was in such
danger: You must have been dreaming.”
“I was not dreaming,” I said, with some warmth, for her brazen coolness provoked me.
Again she looked at me; and with the same scrutinising and conscious eye.
“Have you told master that you heard a laugh?” she inquired.
“I have not had the opportunity of speaking to him this morning.”
“You did not think of opening your door and looking out into the gallery?” she further
asked.
She appeared to be cross-questioning me, attempting to draw from me information
unawares. The idea struck me that if she discovered I knew or suspected her guilt, she
would be playing of some of her malignant pranks on me; I thought it advisable to be on
my guard.
“On the contrary,” said I, “I bolted my door.”
“Then you are not in the habit of bolting your door every night before you get into bed?”
“Fiend! she wants to know my habits, that she may lay her plans accordingly!”
Indignation again prevailed over prudence: I replied sharply, “Hitherto I have often
omitted to fasten the bolt: I did not think it necessary. I was not aware any danger or
annoyance was to be dreaded at Thornfield Hall: but in future” (and I laid marked stress
on the words) “I shall take good care to make all secure before I venture to lie down.”
“It will be wise so to do,” was her answer: “this neighbourhood is as quiet as any I know,
and I never heard of the hall being attempted by robbers since it was a house; though
there are hundreds of pounds’ worth of plate in the plate-closet, as is well known. And
you see, for such a large house, there are very few servants, because master has never
lived here much; and when he does come, being a bachelor, he needs little waiting on:
but I always think it best to err on the safe side; a door is soon fastened, and it is as well
to have a drawn bolt between one and any mischief that may be about. A deal of people,
Miss, are for trusting all to Providence; but I say Providence will not dispense with the
means, though He often blesses them when they are used discreetly.” And here she
closed her harangue: a long one for her, and uttered with the demureness of a
Quakeress.
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I still stood absolutely dumfoundered at what appeared to me her miraculous self-
possession and most inscrutable hypocrisy, when the cook entered.
“Mrs. Poole,” said she, addressing Grace, “the servants’ dinner will soon be ready: will
you come down?”
“No; just put my pint of porter and bit of pudding on a tray, and I’ll carry it upstairs.”
“You’ll have some meat?”
“Just a morsel, and a taste of cheese, that’s all.”
“And the sago?”
“Never mind it at present: I shall be coming down before teatime: I’ll make it myself.”
The cook here turned to me, saying that Mrs. Fairfax was waiting for me: so I departed.
I hardly heard Mrs. Fairfax’s account of the curtain conflagration during dinner, so much
was I occupied in puzzling my brains over the enigmatical character of Grace Poole, and
still more in pondering the problem of her position at Thornfield and questioning why
she had not been given into custody that morning, or, at the very least, dismissed from
her master’s service. He had almost as much as declared his conviction of her
criminality last night: what mysterious cause withheld him from accusing her? Why had
he enjoined me, too, to secrecy? It was strange: a bold, vindictive, and haughty
gentleman seemed somehow in the power of one of the meanest of his dependents; so
much in her power, that even when she lifted her hand against his life, he dared not
openly charge her with the attempt, much less punish her for it.
Had Grace been young and handsome, I should have been tempted to think that
tenderer feelings than prudence or fear influenced Mr. Rochester in her behalf; but,
hard-favoured and matronly as she was, the idea could not be admitted. “Yet,” I
reflected, “she has been young once; her youth would be contemporary with her
master’s: Mrs. Fairfax told me once, she had lived here many years. I don’t think she can
ever have been pretty; but, for aught I know, she may possess originality and strength of
character to compensate for the want of personal advantages. Mr. Rochester is an
amateur of the decided and eccentric: Grace is eccentric at least. What if a former
caprice (a freak very possible to a nature so sudden and headstrong as his) has
delivered him into her power, and she now exercises over his actions a secret influence,
the result of his own indiscretion, which he cannot shake off, and dare not disregard?”
But, having reached this point of conjecture, Mrs. Poole’s square, flat figure, and
uncomely, dry, even coarse face, recurred so distinctly to my mind’s eye, that I thought,
“No; impossible! my supposition cannot be correct. Yet,” suggested the secret voice
which talks to us in our own hearts, “you are not beautiful either, and perhaps Mr.
Rochester approves you: at any rate, you have often felt as if he did; and last night—
remember his words; remember his look; remember his voice!”
I well remembered all; language, glance, and tone seemed at the moment vividly
renewed. I was now in the schoolroom; Adèle was drawing; I bent over her and directed
her pencil. She looked up with a sort of start.
“Qu’avez-vous, mademoiselle?” said she. “Vos doigts tremblent comme la feuille, et vos
joues sont rouges: mais, rouges comme des cerises!”
“I am hot, Adèle, with stooping!” She went on sketching; I went on thinking.
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I hastened to drive from my mind the hateful notion I had been conceiving respecting
Grace Poole; it disgusted me. I compared myself with her, and found we were different.
Bessie Leaven had said I was quite a lady; and she spoke truth—I was a lady. And now I
looked much better than I did when Bessie saw me; I had more colour and more flesh,
more life, more vivacity, because I had brighter hopes and keener enjoyments.
“Evening approaches,” said I, as I looked towards the window. “I have never heard Mr.
Rochester’s voice or step in the house to-day; but surely I shall see him before night: I
feared the meeting in the morning; now I desire it, because expectation has been so long
baffled that it is grown impatient.”
When dusk actually closed, and when Adèle left me to go and play in the nursery with
Sophie, I did most keenly desire it. I listened for the bell to ring below; I listened for
Leah coming up with a message; I fancied sometimes I heard Mr. Rochester’s own tread,
and I turned to the door, expecting it to open and admit him. The door remained shut;
darkness only came in through the window. Still it was not late; he often sent for me at
seven and eight o’clock, and it was yet but six. Surely I should not be wholly
disappointed to-night, when I had so many things to say to him! I wanted again to
introduce the subject of Grace Poole, and to hear what he would answer; I wanted to ask
him plainly if he really believed it was she who had made last night’s hideous attempt;
and if so, why he kept her wickedness a secret. It little mattered whether my curiosity
irritated him; I knew the pleasure of vexing and soothing him by turns; it was one I
chiefly delighted in, and a sure instinct always prevented me from going too far; beyond
the verge of provocation I never ventured; on the extreme brink I liked well to try my
skill. Retaining every minute form of respect, every propriety of my station, I could still
meet him in argument without fear or uneasy restraint; this suited both him and me.
A tread creaked on the stairs at last. Leah made her appearance; but it was only to
intimate that tea was ready in Mrs. Fairfax’s room. Thither I repaired, glad at least to go
downstairs; for that brought me, I imagined, nearer to Mr. Rochester’s presence.
“You must want your tea,” said the good lady, as I joined her; “you ate so little at dinner.
I am afraid,” she continued, “you are not well to-day: you look flushed and feverish.”
“Oh, quite well! I never felt better.”
“Then you must prove it by evincing a good appetite; will you fill the teapot while I knit
off this needle?” Having completed her task, she rose to draw down the blind, which she
had hitherto kept up, by way, I suppose, of making the most of daylight, though dusk
was now fast deepening into total obscurity.
“It is fair to-night,” said she, as she looked through the panes, “though not starlight; Mr.
Rochester has, on the whole, had a favourable day for his journey.”
“Journey!—Is Mr. Rochester gone anywhere? I did not know he was out.”
“Oh, he set off the moment he had breakfasted! He is gone to the Leas, Mr. Eshton’s
place, ten miles on the other side Millcote. I believe there is quite a party assembled
there; Lord Ingram, Sir George Lynn, Colonel Dent, and others.”
“Do you expect him back to-night?”
“No—nor to-morrow either; I should think he is very likely to stay a week or more:
when these fine, fashionable people get together, they are so surrounded by elegance
and gaiety, so well provided with all that can please and entertain, they are in no hurry
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to separate. Gentlemen especially are often in request on such occasions; and Mr.
Rochester is so talented and so lively in society, that I believe he is a general favourite:
the ladies are very fond of him; though you would not think his appearance calculated to
recommend him particularly in their eyes: but I suppose his acquirements and abilities,
perhaps his wealth and good blood, make amends for any little fault of look.”
“Are there ladies at the Leas?”
“There are Mrs. Eshton and her three daughters—very elegant young ladies indeed; and
there are the Honourable Blanche and Mary Ingram, most beautiful women, I suppose:
indeed I have seen Blanche, six or seven years since, when she was a girl of eighteen.
She came here to a Christmas ball and party Mr. Rochester gave. You should have seen
the dining-room that day—how richly it was decorated, how brilliantly lit up! I should
think there were fifty ladies and gentlemen present—all of the first county families; and
Miss Ingram was considered the belle of the evening.”
“You saw her, you say, Mrs. Fairfax: what was she like?”
“Yes, I saw her. The dining-room doors were thrown open; and, as it was Christmas-
time, the servants were allowed to assemble in the hall, to hear some of the ladies sing
and play. Mr. Rochester would have me to come in, and I sat down in a quiet corner and
watched them. I never saw a more splendid scene: the ladies were magnificently
dressed; most of them—at least most of the younger ones—looked handsome; but Miss
Ingram was certainly the queen.”
“And what was she like?”
“Tall, fine bust, sloping shoulders; long, graceful neck: olive complexion, dark and clear;
noble features; eyes rather like Mr. Rochester’s: large and black, and as brilliant as her
jewels. And then she had such a fine head of hair; raven-black and so becomingly
arranged: a crown of thick plaits behind, and in front the longest, the glossiest curls I
ever saw. She was dressed in pure white; an amber-coloured scarf was passed over her
shoulder and across her breast, tied at the side, and descending in long, fringed ends
below her knee. She wore an amber-coloured flower, too, in her hair: it contrasted well
with the jetty mass of her curls.”
“She was greatly admired, of course?”
“Yes, indeed: and not only for her beauty, but for her accomplishments. She was one of
the ladies who sang: a gentleman accompanied her on the piano. She and Mr. Rochester
sang a duet.”
“Mr. Rochester? I was not aware he could sing.”
“Oh! he has a fine bass voice, and an excellent taste for music.”
“And Miss Ingram: what sort of a voice had she?”
“A very rich and powerful one: she sang delightfully; it was a treat to listen to her;—and
she played afterwards. I am no judge of music, but Mr. Rochester is; and I heard him say
her execution was remarkably good.”
“And this beautiful and accomplished lady, she is not yet married?”
“It appears not: I fancy neither she nor her sister have very large fortunes. Old Lord
Ingram’s estates were chiefly entailed, and the eldest son came in for everything
almost.”
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“But I wonder no wealthy nobleman or gentleman has taken a fancy to her: Mr.
Rochester, for instance. He is rich, is he not?”
“Oh! yes. But you see there is a considerable difference in age: Mr. Rochester is nearly
forty; she is but twenty-five.”
“What of that? More unequal matches are made every day.”
“True: yet I should scarcely fancy Mr. Rochester would entertain an idea of the sort. But
you eat nothing: you have scarcely tasted since you began tea.”
“No: I am too thirsty to eat. Will you let me have another cup?”
I was about again to revert to the probability of a union between Mr. Rochester and the
beautiful Blanche; but Adèle came in, and the conversation was turned into another
channel.
When once more alone, I reviewed the information I had got; looked into my heart,
examined its thoughts and feelings, and endeavoured to bring back with a strict hand
such as had been straying through imagination’s boundless and trackless waste, into the
safe fold of common sense.
Arraigned at my own bar, Memory having given her evidence of the hopes, wishes,
sentiments I had been cherishing since last night—of the general state of mind in which
I had indulged for nearly a fortnight past; Reason having come forward and told, in her
own quiet way, a plain, unvarnished tale, showing how I had rejected the real, and
rabidly devoured the ideal;—I pronounced judgment to this effect:—
That a greater fool than Jane Eyre had never breathed the breath of life; that a more
fantastic idiot had never surfeited herself on sweet lies, and swallowed poison as if it
were nectar.
“You,” I said, “a favourite with Mr. Rochester? You gifted with the power of pleasing
him? You of importance to him in any way? Go! your folly sickens me. And you have
derived pleasure from occasional tokens of preference—equivocal tokens shown by a
gentleman of family and a man of the world to a dependent and a novice. How dared
you? Poor stupid dupe!—Could not even self-interest make you wiser? You repeated to
yourself this morning the brief scene of last night?—Cover your face and be ashamed!
He said something in praise of your eyes, did he? Blind puppy! Open their bleared lids
and look on your own accursed senselessness! It does good to no woman to be flattered
by her superior, who cannot possibly intend to marry her; and it is madness in all
women to let a secret love kindle within them, which, if unreturned and unknown, must
devour the life that feeds it; and, if discovered and responded to, must lead, ignis-fatuus-
like, into miry wilds whence there is no extrication.
“Listen, then, Jane Eyre, to your sentence: to-morrow, place the glass before you, and
draw in chalk your own picture, faithfully, without softening one defect; omit no harsh
line, smooth away no displeasing irregularity; write under it, ‘Portrait of a Governess,
disconnected, poor, and plain.’
“Afterwards, take a piece of smooth ivory—you have one prepared in your drawing-
box: take your palette, mix your freshest, finest, clearest tints; choose your most delicate
camel-hair pencils; delineate carefully the loveliest face you can imagine; paint it in your
softest shades and sweetest lines, according to the description given by Mrs. Fairfax of
Blanche Ingram; remember the raven ringlets, the oriental eye;—What! you revert to
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Mr. Rochester as a model! Order! No snivel!—no sentiment!—no regret! I will endure
only sense and resolution. Recall the august yet harmonious lineaments, the Grecian
neck and bust; let the round and dazzling arm be visible, and the delicate hand; omit
neither diamond ring nor gold bracelet; portray faithfully the attire, aërial lace and
glistening satin, graceful scarf and golden rose; call it ‘Blanche, an accomplished lady of
rank.’
“Whenever, in future, you should chance to fancy Mr. Rochester thinks well of you, take
out these two pictures and compare them: say, ‘Mr. Rochester might probably win that
noble lady’s love, if he chose to strive for it; is it likely he would waste a serious thought
on this indigent and insignificant plebeian?’”
“I’ll do it,” I resolved: and having framed this determination, I grew calm, and fell asleep.
I kept my word. An hour or two sufficed to sketch my own portrait in crayons; and in
less than a fortnight I had completed an ivory miniature of an imaginary Blanche
Ingram. It looked a lovely face enough, and when compared with the real head in chalk,
the contrast was as great as self-control could desire. I derived benefit from the task: it
had kept my head and hands employed, and had given force and fixedness to the new
impressions I wished to stamp indelibly on my heart.
Ere long, I had reason to congratulate myself on the course of wholesome discipline to
which I had thus forced my feelings to submit. Thanks to it, I was able to meet
subsequent occurrences with a decent calm, which, had they found me unprepared, I
should probably have been unequal to maintain, even externally.
