CHAPTER 46
OF THE TERRIBLE BELL AND CAT FRIGHT THAT DON QUIXOTE GOT IN THE COURSE OF
THE ENAMOURED ALTISIDORA’S WOOING
We left Don Quixote wrapped up in the reflections which the music of
the enamourned maid Altisidora had given rise to. He went to bed with
them, and just like fleas they would not let him sleep or get a moment’s rest,
and the broken stitches of his stockings helped them. But as Time is fleet
and no obstacle can stay his course, he came riding on the hours, and morn-
ing very soon arrived. Seeing which Don Quixote quitted the soft down,
and, nowise slothful, dressed himself in his chamois suit and put on his
travelling boots to hide the disaster to his stockings. He threw over him his
scarlet mantle, put on his head a montera of green velvet trimmed with sil-
ver edging, flung across his shoulder the baldric with his good trenchant
sword, took up a large rosary that he always carried with him, and with
great solemnity and precision of gait proceeded to the antechamber where
the duke and duchess were already dressed and waiting for him. But as he
passed through a gallery, Altisidora and the other damsel, her friend, were
lying in wait for him, and the instant Altisidora saw him she pretended to
faint, while her friend caught her in her lap, and began hastily unlacing the
bosom of her dress.
Don Quixote observed it, and approaching them said, “I know very well
what this seizure arises from.”
“I know not from what,” replied the friend, “for Altisidora is the healthi-
est damsel in all this house, and I have never heard her complain all the
time I have known her. A plague on all the knights-errant in the world, if
they be all ungrateful! Go away, Senor Don Quixote; for this poor child will
not come to herself again so long as you are here.”
To which Don Quixote returned, “Do me the favour, senora, to let a lute
be placed in my chamber to-night; and I will comfort this poor maiden to
the best of my power; for in the early stages of love a prompt disillusion is
an approved remedy;” and with this he retired, so as not to be remarked by
any who might see him there.
He had scarcely withdrawn when Altisidora, recovering from her swoon,
said to her companion, “The lute must be left, for no doubt Don Quixote in-
tends to give us some music; and being his it will not be bad.”
They went at once to inform the duchess of what was going on, and of
the lute Don Quixote asked for, and she, delighted beyond measure, plotted
with the duke and her two damsels to play him a trick that should be amus-
ing but harmless; and in high glee they waited for night, which came quick-
ly as the day had come; and as for the day, the duke and duchess spent it in
charming conversation with Don Quixote.
When eleven o’clock came, Don Quixote found a guitar in his chamber;
he tried it, opened the window, and perceived that some persons were walk-
ing in the garden; and having passed his fingers over the frets of the guitar
and tuned it as well as he could, he spat and cleared his chest, and then with
a voice a little hoarse but full-toned, he sang the following ballad, which he
had himself that day composed:
{verse
Mighty Love the hearts of maidens
Doth unsettle and perplex,
And the instrument he uses
Most of all is idleness.
Sewing, stitching, any labour,
Having always work to do,
To the poison Love instilleth
Is the antidote most sure.
And to proper-minded maidens
Who desire the matron’s name
Modesty’s a marriage portion,
Modesty their highest praise.
Men of prudence and discretion,
Courtiers gay and gallant knights,
With the wanton damsels dally,
But the modest take to wife.
There are passions, transient, fleeting,
Loves in hostelries declar’d,
Sunrise loves, with sunset ended,
When the guest hath gone his way.
Love that springs up swift and sudden,
Here to-day, to-morrow flown,
Passes, leaves no trace behind it,
Leaves no image on the soul.
Painting that is laid on painting
Maketh no display or show;
Where one beauty’s in possession
There no other can take hold.
Dulcinea del Toboso
Painted on my heart I wear;
Never from its tablets, never,
Can her image be eras’d.
The quality of all in lovers
Most esteemed is constancy;
‘T is by this that love works wonders,
This exalts them to the skies.
{verse
Don Quixote had got so far with his song, to which the duke, the duchess,
Altisidora, and nearly the whole household of the castle were listening,
when all of a sudden from a gallery above that was exactly over his window
they let down a cord with more than a hundred bells attached to it, and im-
mediately after that discharged a great sack full of cats, which also had bells
of smaller size tied to their tails. Such was the din of the bells and the
squalling of the cats, that though the duke and duchess were the contrivers
of the joke they were startled by it, while Don Quixote stood paralysed with
fear; and as luck would have it, two or three of the cats made their way in
through the grating of his chamber, and flying from one side to the other,
made it seem as if there was a legion of devils at large in it. They extin-
guished the candles that were burning in the room, and rushed about seek-
ing some way of escape; the cord with the large bells never ceased rising
and falling; and most of the people of the castle, not knowing what was re-
ally the matter, were at their wits’ end with astonishment. Don Quixote
sprang to his feet, and drawing his sword, began making passes at the grat-
ing, shouting out, “Avaunt, malignant enchanters! avaunt, ye witchcraft-
working rabble! I am Don Quixote of La Mancha, against whom your evil
machinations avail not nor have any power.” And turning upon the cats that
were running about the room, he made several cuts at them. They dashed at
the grating and escaped by it, save one that, finding itself hard pressed by
the slashes of Don Quixote’s sword, flew at his face and held on to his nose
tooth and nail, with the pain of which he began to shout his loudest. The
duke and duchess hearing this, and guessing what it was, ran with all haste
to his room, and as the poor gentleman was striving with all his might to
detach the cat from his face, they opened the door with a master-key and
went in with lights and witnessed the unequal combat. The duke ran for-
ward to part the combatants, but Don Quixote cried out aloud, “Let no one
take him from me; leave me hand to hand with this demon, this wizard, this
enchanter; I will teach him, I myself, who Don Quixote of La Mancha is.”
The cat, however, never minding these threats, snarled and held on; but at
last the duke pulled it off and flung it out of the window. Don Quixote was
left with a face as full of holes as a sieve and a nose not in very good condi-
tion, and greatly vexed that they did not let him finish the battle he had been
so stoutly fighting with that villain of an enchanter. They sent for some oil
of John’s wort, and Altisidora herself with her own fair hands bandaged all
the wounded parts; and as she did so she said to him in a low voice. “All
these mishaps have befallen thee, hardhearted knight, for the sin of thy in-
sensibility and obstinacy; and God grant thy squire Sancho may forget to
whip himself, so that that dearly beloved Dulcinea of thine may never be
released from her enchantment, that thou mayest never come to her bed, at
least while I who adore thee am alive.”
To all this Don Quixote made no answer except to heave deep sighs, and
then stretched himself on his bed, thanking the duke and duchess for their
kindness, not because he stood in any fear of that bell-ringing rabble of en-
chanters in cat shape, but because he recognised their good intentions in
coming to his rescue. The duke and duchess left him to repose and with-
drew greatly grieved at the unfortunate result of the joke; as they never
thought the adventure would have fallen so heavy on Don Quixote or cost
him so dear, for it cost him five days of confinement to his bed, during
which he had another adventure, pleasanter than the late one, which his
chronicler will not relate just now in order that he may turn his attention to
Sancho Panza, who was proceeding with great diligence and drollery in his
government.
