CHAPTER 27
WHEREIN IT IS SHOWN WHO MASTER PEDRO AND HIS APE WERE, TOGETHER WITH
THE MISHAP DON QUIXOTE HAD IN THE BRAYING ADVENTURE, WHICH HE DID NOT
CONCLUDE AS HE WOULD HAVE LIKED OR AS HE HAD EXPECTED
Cide Hamete, the chronicler of this great history, begins this chapter with
these words, “I swear as a Catholic Christian;” with regard to which his
translator says that Cide Hamete’s swearing as a Catholic Christian, he be-
ing—as no doubt he was—a Moor, only meant that, just as a Catholic
Christian taking an oath swears, or ought to swear, what is true, and tell the
truth in what he avers, so he was telling the truth, as much as if he swore as
a Catholic Christian, in all he chose to write about Quixote, especially in
declaring who Master Pedro was and what was the divining ape that aston-
ished all the villages with his divinations. He says, then, that he who has
read the First Part of this history will remember well enough the Gines de
Pasamonte whom, with other galley slaves, Don Quixote set free in the
Sierra Morena: a kindness for which he afterwards got poor thanks and
worse payment from that evil-minded, ill-conditioned set. This Gines de
Pasamonte—Don Ginesillo de Parapilla, Don Quixote called him—it was
that stole Dapple from Sancho Panza; which, because by the fault of the
printers neither the how nor the when was stated in the First Part, has been a
puzzle to a good many people, who attribute to the bad memory of the au-
thor what was the error of the press. In fact, however, Gines stole him while
Sancho Panza was asleep on his back, adopting the plan and device that
Brunello had recourse to when he stole Sacripante’s horse from between his
legs at the siege of Albracca; and, as has been told, Sancho afterwards re-
covered him. This Gines, then, afraid of being caught by the officers of jus-
tice, who were looking for him to punish him for his numberless rascalities
and offences (which were so many and so great that he himself wrote a big
book giving an account of them), resolved to shift his quarters into the king-
dom of Aragon, and cover up his left eye, and take up the trade of a puppet-
showman; for this, as well as juggling, he knew how to practise to perfec-
tion. From some released Christians returning from Barbary, it so happened,
he bought the ape, which he taught to mount upon his shoulder on his mak-
ing a certain sign, and to whisper, or seem to do so, in his ear. Thus pre-
pared, before entering any village whither he was bound with his show and
his ape, he used to inform himself at the nearest village, or from the most
likely person he could find, as to what particular things had happened there,
and to whom; and bearing them well in mind, the first thing he did was to
exhibit his show, sometimes one story, sometimes another, but all lively,
amusing, and familiar. As soon as the exhibition was over he brought for-
ward the accomplishments of his ape, assuring the public that he divined all
the past and the present, but as to the future he had no skill. For each ques-
tion answered he asked two reals, and for some he made a reduction, just as
he happened to feel the pulse of the questioners; and when now and then he
came to houses where things that he knew of had happened to the people
living there, even if they did not ask him a question, not caring to pay for it,
he would make the sign to the ape and then declare that it had said so and
so, which fitted the case exactly. In this way he acquired a prodigious name
and all ran after him; on other occasions, being very crafty, he would an-
swer in such a way that the answers suited the questions; and as no one
cross-questioned him or pressed him to tell how his ape divined, he made
fools of them all and filled his pouch. The instant he entered the inn he
knew Don Quixote and Sancho, and with that knowledge it was easy for
him to astonish them and all who were there; but it would have cost him
dear had Don Quixote brought down his hand a little lower when he cut off
King Marsilio’s head and destroyed all his horsemen, as related in the pre-
ceeding chapter.
So much for Master Pedro and his ape; and now to return to Don Quixote
of La Mancha. After he had left the inn he determined to visit, first of all,
the banks of the Ebro and that neighbourhood, before entering the city of
Saragossa, for the ample time there was still to spare before the jousts left
him enough for all. With this object in view he followed the road and trav-
elled along it for two days, without meeting any adventure worth commit-
ting to writing until on the third day, as he was ascending a hill, he heard a
great noise of drums, trumpets, and musket-shots. At first he imagined some
regiment of soldiers was passing that way, and to see them he spurred Roci-
nante and mounted the hill. On reaching the top he saw at the foot of it over
two hundred men, as it seemed to him, armed with weapons of various
sorts, lances, crossbows, partisans, halberds, and pikes, and a few muskets
and a great many bucklers. He descended the slope and approached the
band near enough to see distinctly the flags, make out the colours and dis-
tinguish the devices they bore, especially one on a standard or ensign of
white satin, on which there was painted in a very life-like style an ass like a
little sard, with its head up, its mouth open and its tongue out, as if it were
in the act and attitude of braying; and round it were inscribed in large char-
acters these two lines—
{verse
They did not bray in vain,
Our alcaldes twain.
{verse
From this device Don Quixote concluded that these people must be from
the braying town, and he said so to Sancho, explaining to him what was
written on the standard. At the same time he observed that the man who had
told them about the matter was wrong in saying that the two who brayed
were regidors, for according to the lines of the standard they were alcaldes.
To which Sancho replied, “Senor, there’s nothing to stick at in that, for
maybe the regidors who brayed then came to be alcaldes of their town after-
wards, and so they may go by both titles; moreover, it has nothing to do
with the truth of the story whether the brayers were alcaldes or regidors,
provided at any rate they did bray; for an alcalde is just as likely to bray as a
regidor.” They perceived, in short, clearly that the town which had been
twitted had turned out to do battle with some other that had jeered it more
than was fair or neighbourly.
Don Quixote proceeded to join them, not a little to Sancho’s uneasiness,
for he never relished mixing himself up in expeditions of that sort. The
members of the troop received him into the midst of them, taking him to be
some one who was on their side. Don Quixote, putting up his visor, ad-
vanced with an easy bearing and demeanour to the standard with the ass,
and all the chief men of the army gathered round him to look at him, staring
at him with the usual amazement that everybody felt on seeing him for the
first time. Don Quixote, seeing them examining him so attentively, and that
none of them spoke to him or put any question to him, determined to take
advantage of their silence; so, breaking his own, he lifted up his voice and
said, “Worthy sirs, I entreat you as earnestly as I can not to interrupt an ar-
gument I wish to address to you, until you find it displeases or wearies you;
and if that come to pass, on the slightest hint you give me I will put a seal
upon my lips and a gag upon my tongue.”
They all bade him say what he liked, for they would listen to him
willingly.
With this permission Don Quixote went on to say, “I, sirs, am a knight-
errant whose calling is that of arms, and whose profession is to protect
those who require protection, and give help to such as stand in need of it.
Some days ago I became acquainted with your misfortune and the cause
which impels you to take up arms again and again to revenge yourselves
upon your enemies; and having many times thought over your business in
my mind, I find that, according to the laws of combat, you are mistaken in
holding yourselves insulted; for a private individual cannot insult an entire
community; unless it be by defying it collectively as a traitor, because he
cannot tell who in particular is guilty of the treason for which he defies it.
Of this we have an example in Don Diego Ordonez de Lara, who defied the
whole town of Zamora, because he did not know that Vellido Dolfos alone
had committed the treachery of slaying his king; and therefore he defied
them all, and the vengeance and the reply concerned all; though, to be sure,
Senor Don Diego went rather too far, indeed very much beyond the limits
of a defiance; for he had no occasion to defy the dead, or the waters, or the
fishes, or those yet unborn, and all the rest of it as set forth; but let that pass,
for when anger breaks out there’s no father, governor, or bridle to check the
tongue. The case being, then, that no one person can insult a kingdom,
province, city, state, or entire community, it is clear there is no reason for
going out to avenge the defiance of such an insult, inasmuch as it is not one.
A fine thing it would be if the people of the clock town were to be at logger-
heads every moment with everyone who called them by that name,—or the
Cazoleros, Berengeneros, Ballenatos, Jaboneros, or the bearers of all the
other names and titles that are always in the mouth of the boys and common
people! It would be a nice business indeed if all these illustrious cities were
to take huff and revenge themselves and go about perpetually making trom-
bones of their swords in every petty quarrel! No, no; God forbid! There are
four things for which sensible men and well-ordered States ought to take up
arms, draw their swords, and risk their persons, lives, and properties. The
first is to defend the Catholic faith; the second, to defend one’s life, which is
in accordance with natural and divine law; the third, in defence of one’s ho-
nour, family, and property; the fourth, in the service of one’s king in a just
war; and if to these we choose to add a fifth (which may be included in the
second), in defence of one’s country. To these five, as it were capital causes,
there may be added some others that may be just and reasonable, and make
it a duty to take up arms; but to take them up for trifles and things to laugh
at and he amused by rather than offended, looks as though he who did so
was altogether wanting in common sense. Moreover, to take an unjust re-
venge (and there cannot be any just one) is directly opposed to the sacred
law that we acknowledge, wherein we are commanded to do good to our
enemies and to love them that hate us; a command which, though it seems
somewhat difficult to obey, is only so to those who have in them less of
God than of the world, and more of the flesh than of the spirit; for Jesus
Christ, God and true man, who never lied, and could not and cannot lie,
said, as our law-giver, that his yoke was easy and his burden light; he would
not, therefore, have laid any command upon us that it was impossible to
obey. Thus, sirs, you are bound to keep quiet by human and divine law.”
“The devil take me,” said Sancho to himself at this, “but this master of
mine is a tologian; or, if not, faith, he’s as like one as one egg is like
another.”
Don Quixote stopped to take breath, and, observing that silence was still
preserved, had a mind to continue his discourse, and would have done so
had not Sancho interposed with his smartness; for he, seeing his master
pause, took the lead, saying, “My lord Don Quixote of La Mancha, who
once was called the Knight of the Rueful Countenance, but now is called
the Knight of the Lions, is a gentleman of great discretion who knows Latin
and his mother tongue like a bachelor, and in everything that he deals with
or advises proceeds like a good soldier, and has all the laws and ordinances
of what they call combat at his fingers’ ends; so you have nothing to do but
to let yourselves be guided by what he says, and on my head be it if it is
wrong. Besides which, you have been told that it is folly to take offence at
merely hearing a bray. I remember when I was a boy I brayed as often as I
had a fancy, without anyone hindering me, and so elegantly and naturally
that when I brayed all the asses in the town would bray; but I was none the
less for that the son of my parents who were greatly respected; and though I
was envied because of the gift by more than one of the high and mighty
ones of the town, I did not care two farthings for it; and that you may see I
am telling the truth, wait a bit and listen, for this art, like swimming, once
learnt is never forgotten;” and then, taking hold of his nose, he began to
bray so vigorously that all the valleys around rang again.
One of those, however, that stood near him, fancying he was mocking
them, lifted up a long staff he had in his hand and smote him such a blow
with it that Sancho dropped helpless to the ground. Don Quixote, seeing
him so roughly handled, attacked the man who had struck him lance in
hand, but so many thrust themselves between them that he could not avenge
him. Far from it, finding a shower of stones rained upon him, and cross-
bows and muskets unnumbered levelled at him, he wheeled Rocinante
round and, as fast as his best gallop could take him, fled from the midst of
them, commending himself to God with all his heart to deliver him out of
this peril, in dread every step of some ball coming in at his back and com-
ing out at his breast, and every minute drawing his breath to see whether it
had gone from him. The members of the band, however, were satisfied with
seeing him take to flight, and did not fire on him. They put up Sancho,
scarcely restored to his senses, on his ass, and let him go after his master;
not that he was sufficiently in his wits to guide the beast, but Dapple fol-
lowed the footsteps of Rocinante, from whom he could not remain a mo-
ment separated. Don Quixote having got some way off looked back, and
seeing Sancho coming, waited for him, as he perceived that no one fol-
lowed him. The men of the troop stood their ground till night, and as the en-
emy did not come out to battle, they returned to their town exulting; and
had they been aware of the ancient custom of the Greeks, they would have
erected a trophy on the spot.
